The Perfect Ending

Chelsea stormed to the English Premier League title by thrashing hapless Wigan Athletic 8-0 in the final match of the season.

Manchester United’s 4-0 win at home to Stoke City was irrelevant, as Didier Drogba’s hat trick, Nicolas Anelka’s brace and further goals from Frank Lampard, Salomon Kalou and Ashley Cole rounded out a sensational victory.

Wigan started brightly, but the Blues took the lead in the sixth minute and from there the result was inevitable. Malouda showed good strength to chest a headed ball from Ballack down for Anelka, who finished inside Mike Pollitt’s near post.

The second also came in the first half, Lampard converting a penalty that he won after being hauled down by Gary Caldwell who was sent off.

In the second period though, Chelsea turned on the style and ruthlessly disposed of Wigan, who offered little to no resistance, aside from a few good Pollitt saves. The third came from Kalou, after he exchanged passes with Lampard, before finishing smartly.

Four came courtesy of Anelka. Ivanovic’s deep cross from the right found the French forward at the back post, where me executed a perfect first time volley back across goal and into the far corner.

Drogba, still level with Rooney on league goals, was desperate to get involved and finally scored his goal soon after. His overhead was saved by Pollitt, but he rose highest to head in at the back post after Lampard recovered the loose ball and crossed.

Some beautiful skill from the Ivorian sent Ashley Cole through, only for the left back to be felled by Melchiot. Another penalty was given by the referee only this time Drogba stepped up, smashing it in off the post for seal his Golden Boot. Then, he tapped in at the back post for his hat trick, after Pollitt saved well from substitute Joe Cole.

Chelsea weren’t done yet and their biggest league win ever was sealed right on the 90, when Joe Cole’s tenacity saw him cross from the by line under pressure to his namesake Ashley, who hit a stunningly sweet volley from the edge of the box for the magnificent eighth and the record 103rd goal of the league season.

Stamford Bridge was in party mode from the first goal to the last and when John Terry lifted the trophy, the explosion of noise from all four sides of the ground was immense. Have no doubt, Chelsea was the best team in the land and Ancelotti’s entertainers are deserved Premier League winners.

We are the Champions!

The editors of TheChels would like to apologise for the lateness of this report, our writing team hit the absinthe hard on Sunday night, and most of them are only just waking up.

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