Travels With The Chels – Barcelona

February 22, 2011

During the Autumn of 2004, something odd happened to my legs. I developed a rash resembling pin-pricks which got bigger and redder. It was after the CL game against PSG, when I went into Soho with a group of friends and danced until we were thrown out of O’Neills at 3am, the rash turned black. So it was that I found myself admitted to hospital for some tests, the upshot…


The Four Horsemen Of The Fixture Apocalypse

February 3, 2011

Well, it’s been a reasonably pleasant season thus far. Now the “difficult moment” is behind us, it looked like we were about to make progress on all fronts. However, events of the last 7 days, some of which were beyond our control, have unleashed a near perfect storm of fixture congestion, one might even refer to them as The Four Horsemen of the Fixture List Apocalypse. Weather Whilst the decision…


Boys Will Be Boys, Girls Will Be….?

January 26, 2011

As TheChels’ token female features writer, I think it only right and proper that I should have my say on Linogate©. (I am claiming the copyright as I don’t think anyone else has used it yet). I’ll start by saying I liked the editor’s suggestion that Richard Keys should be waxed to death. That should inflict sufficient pain as to teach him a proper lesson. Now; ‘Banter’ – It’s a…


We All Follow The Chelsea, Or Not….

January 18, 2011

We will follow the The Chels(ea) Over Land and Sea … and Leicester… and Fulham… and Blackpool… and Copenhagen…or maybe not. Financially, this is not a good week to be a Chelsea fan. Hot on the heels of a demand of money with menaces yesterday to stand in a cow shed in Fulham came the news that the much anticipated away game at Blackpool had been switched to a Monday…


Carlo – The Way Forward?

January 6, 2011

We interrupt our normal service of light-hearted travel reminiscence and assorted ramblings for a more serious look at matters at the Bridge. Even Stevie Wonder could see that the defeat against Wolves probably marked a 10-year low point in our history. Certainly there has been no such air of uncertainty about the future since the 2002/2003 season, the last of the Ken Bates regime, when Claudio Ranieri was hamstrung in…


The Chelsea Christmas Wishlist

December 24, 2010

As 25th December hurtles towards us with all the speed of a Japanese bullet train, I thought I’d take this opportunity to have a rummage round my sack and see what might make suitable gifts for some of the Chelsea team this year. To Petr Cech – A time machine that would take him back to the morning of 15th October 2005 and a change to the Reading line-up meaning…


Chelsea Pitch Owners – Grounds for Concern?

December 13, 2010

The Facts: On Friday I attended the AGM of Chelsea Pitch Owners, which was held in the Vialli Suite at Stamford Bridge. Despite the company having over 14,000 shareholders, only 380 chose to return their proxy ballot papers, and only 20 shareholders attended. This inevitably meant that any dissent in the room would be overturned by the proxy vote, being in the hands of the Chair. The meeting was chaired…


Travels With The Chels – Monaco

December 6, 2010

Ah, the glamorous South of France. Casinos. Blue sky. Azure coastline. A terrifying approach to Nice Airport during which you think you will be landing in the Med. I have given this article some thought in the weeks prior to sitting down to the writing of it. As your local friendly Chels features writer, using a pseudonym, how much of oneself does one give away? Well, I think it fair…


Travels With The Chels – Stuttgart

October 18, 2010

It’s an irony that the media perception in this country is of Joe Public hating the Germans, which is generally untrue. You still get the odd soul for whom the mantra; “Jerry bombed my Grandad’s house” has coloured their view for the majority of their lives. Then there’s those who gorge on right-wing press stories of bad mannered Germans’ holiday traits, but most people born after the 60’s, and whose…


Very Superstitious, Writing’s On The Wall

September 21, 2010

I sometimes think that we football fans are mad. We have to be, to keep the faith. For supporters of yore, reaching a cup final necessitated an overnight camp outside the ticket office, or in our case portacabin. These days for a big game it can mean being up at dawn for frustrating internet experience, with seven windows open at once. And then there’s the superstitious element that seems to…